I’m following the last column on fences.
If you haven’t had a chance to read it, do an internet search on my name and you can find it on the website of the newspaper you are reading now.
You will also find many other people by my name who are much more interesting, so in the interests of our emerging relationship I will say, please focus on me and of course I will focus on you!
I am happy to announce that my fence has been replaced. They removed the old fence, set new steel posts, and came back a few days later to install half the job and be done the next day.
After the last column, I received an email from Karen in Claremont who was the first of several dealing with “covering the fence.” You were right. I did not cover this important topic in my column.
Here’s what they’re asking: when you put up a fence there is a “beautiful side” and an “ugly side”. The beautiful side is the side that shows the finished fence and the ugly side is the side that shows the posts, frames and connectors. Usually the person paying for the fence has a choice and usually has the beautiful side in front of them and the ugly side toward the neighbors or the public.
As you may have noticed while reading my columns, I am a little bit crazy about security and privacy. That’s why all of my butlers and maids are trained to turn my head when I walk around in my underwear!
If the ugly side of the fence is facing out, it means there are boards for people to stand on to look over or – God forbid – climb over them. So I decided to have these boards on my side of the fence. That way, I can be the one using the boards to look over my side of the fence into my neighbor’s yard and they have to jump up and down to catch a glimpse of me … walking around in my underwear.
I plan on planting a hedge along most of my fence anyway, so I might as well appear magnanimous to the neighborhood.
In addition to the false appearances of being a nice guy to the neighbors, I can use the fence frame and posts on my side of the fence to attach low voltage lighting cables, drip irrigation, plumbing, water pipes, and a special kind of detector security cables to the fence – if I put everything in can. That way, all of that stuff is easy to find after my hedge has grown.
You see, a fence isn’t just a matter of privacy or a psychological barrier, it can be used in other ways too.
If your fence is sturdy enough, you can attach “fence pots” and water them with drip lines. A fence pot is essentially a half pot with a flat side that is attached to a fence or wall. Fence pots are great ways to break up long, boring fences. I plan to use fence posts in areas where I don’t plant hedges. That will make it look even nicer.
I was surprised that none of my readers asked me how I would recycle my old wooden fence. Always a good idea to recycle when you can, right?
I want you to know that I kept all 300 feet of my old fence. I had my son and a few of his friends disassemble each panel and put them in a huge pile for reuse.
Firstly, my wife and her friends would like to use some of the better looking old boards with charm for artistic expressions. They paint Bible verses, famous quotes, and other artistic things on the chalkboards, then give them to people for holidays or when someone looks like they need encouragement.
I’m not trying to be sexist here, but this art form is usually for women. Guys choose t-shirts or bumper stickers. Ladies like old things, which is great for me – being old and having some kind of charm.
The real reason I wanted to save all the wood was for a special event in November.
Every year our scout troop goes to the middle of the desert for special training. Part of this training is a campfire, a huge campfire. Last year I brought about 60 foot old fence for our campfire. This year is likely to be my last year, so I bring at least 200 feet of wooden fences for the bonfire of all bonfires – a farewell fire.
On a weekend in November you will see a beautiful evening out of the high desert. This will be me to recycle my old fence.
Do you have a question or comment about “Around the House”? Mail it to Matt Le Vesque at PO Box 108, Yucaipa, CA 92399 or [email protected] and he will consider it for his column. Please provide your full name and place of residence.